What To Discuss When You Find A Room.
What to ask when you find a room to share.
Once CoconnectHER has found you a potential match and prior to moving in together CoconnectHER recommends that you meet in a neutral place to chat.
If you establish a connection over coffee you can then move into more detailed questions with each other. We recommend that you have a clear picture of the kind of co-sharing arrangement you would like and also what kind of co-sharer you would be and would like to live with. This helps you decide on whether to move forward. From there you can arrange to inspect the property and have further conversation around household duties, sharing costs, food, family visits and expectations of your co-sharing relationship.
There’s no denying that first meetings may be awkward. Knowing that you are both coming to evaluate potential coconnecting can lead to pressure and stress, which then may create awkwardness.
Feeling awkward can present a barrier to connection. If you are worrying about coconnecting and whether it will work, you will be distracted from being fully present with your potential coconnectHER. Enjoy the interaction, be open, honest without over sharing your life history at this stage, and remember it is your first meeting. Listen carefully to what is being said and ask questions relating to your potential co-sharing home.
At this meeting you may decide not to move in together, and that’s OK. Everyone deserves safe, secure, happy homes and you both need to be comfortable with the match and home you will share.
If you both decide there is enough connection to make the move to co-sharing that is great. You will then work on your co-sharing agreement details, rules, boundaries, the fee you will charge or pay etc. Once you have finalised your agreement and moved in, you will email CoconncetHER to let the team know you no longer require our services. Happy Days.
What are you looking for in a potential CoconnectHER?
Things to consider and discuss when meeting a potential housemate:
When you first meet up, it’s important that you take the time to get to know each other. After all you will be living in close proximity to each other and it’s nice to like and feel comfortable with the people you are co-sharing with.
Do you have anything you have in common? What little idiosyncrasies or quirks do you notice, or do they mention?
Do they seem like an honest person?
Are they in a relationship, or seeking one eventually?
Do you feel comfortable in their company right away?
Do they have family come to stay? How often? Does this mean grandchildren stay over? Are my family welcome?
Remember you don’t have to decide at the first meeting. You may prefer to catch up one or two times prior to deciding. After all this may turn into a lifelong arrangement, so it’s best to take your time when deciding and there are many factors to consider and discuss.
For short term arrangements, you may not need to take as much time in ensuring you are compatible co-sharers, however you do need to be able to trust the person you are co-sharing with.
*Your safety must be your main priority, do not accept a Co-share home that puts you in a precarious position. If you are in crisis and need a room urgently, contact a reputable agency to assist you.
Having a clear idea of whom you would like to live with helps make finding a reasonable roomie, fabulous flatmate and contented coconnecther a lot easier.
Below is a checklist for when you are looking for a home.
Checklist when looking for a home?
- Is it affordable for you?
- Is it in an area you may wish to live in?
- Does it have enough space for two people to live in?
- Is there room for your belongings?
- Is there a nice neat bathroom?
- Is there a modern kitchen?
- Does it have a patio/outdoor area?
- Is there parking available?
- Does it have built in robes?
- Does it need much maintenance?
- Is there much upkeep to the garden?
Don’t be shy with your questions. Remember you need to be open and up front with your potential housemate about what you expect. There are unwritten rules – like who takes out the garbage, who showers first, what is a “reasonable” time to get up/go to bed. Everyone is different.
Don’t go overboard and overshare all your intimate personal details on the first meeting. You may like to take a little longer before you disclose all the personal things.
The bottom line is, trust your instincts, if you feel uncomfortable, don’t do it. It you aren’t sure, it’s OK to have more than one catch up. No matter what is going on for you don’t rush into anything simply because your current situation may be desperate. Desperation and overwhelm may make you make rush and rash decisions. Be careful and remember no matter what is going on for you, moving in doesn’t have to be permanent unless you want it to be.
Got any other ideas on what you may like to ask, or should share. Leave them in the comments, as this is a community and we are here to help each other.