Feel Secure When Living Alone

Published by Merna Dwyer on


It’s not unusual these days for people to live alone.  We’re living longer, and many of us are single and prize our privacy and solitude.  To be safe, to have stability and security are the things we crave.  The question is “How can you feel secure when living alone”?  At the end of the article, I also talk about the Real Danger of Living Alone!


Statistics New Zealand reports that: “One-person households are projected to be the fastest-growing household type … increasing … from 363,000 in 2006 to 602,000 in 2031. One-person households will account for 29 per cent of all households in 2031.”

The 2016 Australian census reports that one in four households are a lone person household. Of the 2 million people living alone on Census night, over half (55%) were female!

They also found that women living alone tended to be older than men who lived alone. The median age of females living alone being 64yrs and 54years for men.

Just as a side note, did you know that 35% of households were owned with a mortgage.  I wonder how many of those homes were being paid off by women over 50?

There is some interesting information over at the Australian Bureau of Statistics site– giving you a snapshot of the 2016 Census.


Feel Secure When Living Alone

Feel Secure When Living Alone

As a single women, who occasionally lives alone, and occasionally has housemates, people ask me if I feel safe?  To tell you the truth, I had never wondered about it.  I always felt safe. Yet, it’s a good question –  how do you feel secure when living alone?  Is living alone dangerous for women?

For me, at times, I am afraid at home alone. Especially after watching something scary on the news. Oddly enough I have never felt afraid whilst living with someone.  Even strangers. I guess your gut instinct can pick up on if someone is not safe to live with. You know, when you meet someone, in the first 3 seconds you have created an opinion and made a judgement on their character. So, I suppose you aren’t likely to choose to live with someone who doesn’t met your standards.

3 Tips for Feeling Secure When Living Alone..

1. Stay in touch with people.

Often regular contact with others is something that disappears when you live alone.  If you do not work, it’s easy to spend the day with no contact with anyone. Sometimes that’s a blessing, especially when you are feeling low.  People get busy and can forget to check in on you. I often wonder how long it would be before someone might notice they haven’t heard from me and decide to check in.

These days social media and technology like text messaging make it easier to stay in touch.  However some people over 60 aren’t that tech savvy. Also, consider this, over 60’s aren’t that used to taking pictures of their dinner or their every move and reporting or sharing it with others. Often they don’t know what to post on their social media profiles and they simply have them to keep up
to date with what the family are doing. Yet families, may not think to see if Gramps is doing anything exciting.

So if you live alone, ensure you have contact with a friend or family member often, so that everyone can rest easy.

With regard to staying in touch, if your health is failing, consider getting a medi alert. If the worst should happen,  you fall or have an attack of some kind, you can contact the ambulance and they can come quickly. It’s not just the dangers from the outside world you have to think about, but those simple little things that we tend to overlook that can cause us grief also.

2.  Secure Your Home

Times are changing, and its most likely not a safe plan to not have some security on your house.  Make sure you have your windows and doors security screened for a extra layer of safety.  Remember,  It’s one thing to have them, another to actually “lock” them.

Whilst it’s great to be tucked up in your home, nice and safe and secure, what about if something was to go wrong – you fall, you get ill and you need an ambulance.  Who will let them in?

Give a key to a trusted neighbour, or if you don’t know your neighbours, perhaps try having a coded entry installed, so that you can let ambulance know the code if they have to attend your home when you are there alone.

  • Lock your doors and windows, whether you’re inside or outside your home, day or night.
  • If someone knocks on your door, always check who is on the other side before you open it. To do
    so, look through a peephole or a window, talk through the door and, if your door has a safety
    chain, open it a crack. It is important to show that you are home inside your house.
  • Make sure that you have adequate lighting in and around your house. Remember to close your
    curtains and blinds at night.

Light Up Your Life… and Your Home!   

I love my sensor lights, even though they come on when a bug flies by, I’d rather have the ability to see “what’s out there” – than sitting wondering if someone is coming to get me, like in the movies. Did I mention that I detest scary movies.. perhaps my imagination is way to vivid.

Play it Safe in the Car. 
If you drive, use your garage. I tend to park my car in the driveway.  However it occurred to me that perhaps it would be safer to park indoors at night rather than risk being attacked.

If you don’t drive, then make sure you have your key ready as you come to the door.  Don’t spend time searching alone for the key on the doorstep.  If you suspect that a door or window has been tampered with, don’t go in.  Get yourself somewhere safe and contact the police.

You don’t want to turn into a scaredy cat, afraid of every noise and shadow, but be sensible about your safety at home. These days burgularies happen even when people are in their homes, so keep your handbag and valuables in a safe out of the way place also.

3. Know Thy Neighbours

This may seem like common sense advice, but to those under 50, it may seem strange. Get to know your neighbours. I know my parents know their neighbours, as they have lived in the area for many years. It is handy to know that your neighbours are keeping an eye out on your property, and that they know who should be coming and going.

Just the other day my son was telling me how he visited a mate’s place and they weren’t home. They knew he was coming, however had not left a key out. He had to climb onto the balcony and let himself in. He said the neighbours watched him do it and no one asked him what was he doing.

People are reluctant to get involved in other people’s business (or the things they should get involved in anyways) – but if you know your neighbours, they may be more inclined to watch over you.


The real danger of living alone is not so much being attacked or broken into, but more often the danger lies in reduced contact with others. You can lose the ability to socialise, connect and communicate because you don’t feel you can not contribute to conversations in a meaningful way.  Because you aren’t doing anything exciting, or anything at all,  you tend to stay at home. You choose to lose contact with people.  This way more dangerous for your health, than sharing with a stranger.

That feeling of isolation and worthlessness can overpower you and you begin to think that there is no point to living, especially if no one is checking in on you or you aren’t doing anything.

So if ever a visit from the pest control guy is the most exciting thing that happens in your day, or you find yourself counting down for the cleaners to come in, or the only outing you have is a trip to the doctors,  then perhaps you may be in severe danger and you need to look for ways to spice up your life.


One suggestion we have here at CoconnectHER is for you to consider taking in a boarder. They can come and share your home, and light up your life. Think about the benefits. No more fear of being alone, or in danger.

To find out more about co-connecting and co-sharing, you can read more of our articles, or even better, click here to join our community.  Share your email address with us, so we can send you updates on the joys of coconnecting.


♣ Share your plans with someone you trust. If you’re taking a new route, study it before you leave.  ♣ Put objects of value in your pockets or out of sight. Keep your handbag or personal items safe.   ♣ If you’re on foot or waiting for or taking a bus, stick to busy, well-lit streets. Walk confidently in the middle of the sidewalk. Keep distance between yourself and passers-by and cars.                       ♣ On a bus, sit close to the driver and be sure you are in his field of vision. Ask to get off between two stops, as close as possible to your destination, if it keeps you safer.                                                ♣ If you’re driving, always check how much gas you have, lock the doors and place your personal items on the floor on the right side. If you break down, pull over to the right and put your headlights and hazard lights on. Call the police and only leave your car if you need to.                                              ♣ In all cases, if a stranger comes up to you or follows you, change direction, go into a business or call the police.


♣ Opt for a busy, well-lit bank machine. Check the indoor and outdoor surroundings.                          ♣ Stand so that no one can see your personal identification number (PIN).                                            ♣ Take your money as quickly as possible and count it in a safe place. If there is an error, contact your banking institution.                                                                                                                                    ♣ Never leave your receipt on the premises, as it contains important information, such as your account number, transit and balance.

Whether you’re alone at home or in your day-to-day activities, it is always important to trust your intuition when it comes to safety. If you don’t feel safe or think you are in danger, call the police.

As I mentioned before, whilst you may enjoy your own company, consider how safe you feel living alone.  If you think about it and would be interested in exploring having a housemate, connect with CoconnectHER.  See how we can help you source someone suitable to share with.

If you have any suggestions, or tips for women living alone to feel secure, please leave a comment below.

Merna Dwyer

Merna teaches women how to do life differently, rise above, begin again Enjoy Life Everyday. Do Work You 💞, Turn Ideas to Action, Create, Live, Earn What You Desire.